My F-oh-rtieth Birthday in Bangkok

 

After tempered paradise seen thru medicated hazes and fitless sleeps, my birthday was placeheld for a special day by the love of my life.

She is a master of surprise and gave me little clues like: 1) have a light supper and breakfast, 2) don’t worry about inviting friends –they will be there and 3) set aside 6-8 hours during the day after which you will need  siesta for the night activities AND 4) prepare to drink (which meant pausing my heavy rounds of steroids and antibiotics for my punctured ear)

The day started amazingly as always as it does when you wake up next to a goddess. Breakfast in bed was all carne- if you know what I mean.

Sara ordered me an Uber taxi, an affordable luxury in Bangkok where beating the heat in an air-conditioned car cannot have a price placed on it.  I snuck  glance at her smartphone to see the word “spa in the destination.  Excitedly I wondered if she had taken my cajoling seriously as I teased her for the days leading up that she was buying me a 2 hour coffee enema for my birthday.

The Uber arrived in a Japanese neighborhood in BKK, deep in Thong-Lor, and when we stepped onto the property we were surrounded by a 40 x 40 foot man-made lagoon with walk-over bridges and tasteful statues everywhere. A shrine to Japanese onsen (spa).

Upon walking into the Oasis Spa,  a multitude of servants (people who bow a lot) offered us tea and our choice of plush couches to recline on.  A few minutes later, I was ushered in down a hall with a Thai teen who said “Sir, your King treatment is ready.”  I gave a lingering goodbye to Sara who said she would see me in 5 hours.

I was led into a room that can only be described as the opposite of a torture room.  It had four different massage bed tables with different apparrati on each one. A classic massage table, a hard wooden one (which had been the norm in India), another had metal pipes just above it for dripping hot oil on the subject, and another set up like a dining room table.

I will spare you all the ooohs-and-ahhhs because I know your office desk is a little uncomfortable as you read this and hearing about a 4 hour spa treatment doesn’t ease your aches and pains. In a nutshell, it was awesome.

Highlights:

A one hour body scrub with homemade mango/papaya rice scrub that turned my whole body bright orange

A skilled Thai/Oil massage for 2.5 hours by a wizard of grunts and groans

Detailed face massage like Chinese water treatment with stones and pebbles on all the right spots.

And the final experience was amazing – they made my face into a salad with 10 different vegetables and fruit topicals rubbing them in then stripping, then reapplying. When the masseuse left me alone for 20 minutes I thought she had forgotten about me.  Her last stroke was one of genius – slicing a large cucumber in front of me and placing no less than 30 slices on my face with cherry tomatoes sliced into them as well. Upon her return, my face was a solid salad (which I almost ate while waiting cuz I was hungry after 4 hours in a spa room – but who eats their face?) – She peeled me down and left me dizzily stumbling into BKK.

The first half of my birthday was captured here and there = here are the video highlights:

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